My intention with this blog is to share my truths and to be open and honest with my thoughts and feelings...
I truly welcome your comments and feedback. I would ask you to be mindful of the fact that I am simply speaking from my heart and I would ask that people who choose to comment and join any discussions do the same.
My intent by sharing my story and reflections is to support others on their unique journey and to offer what I have learnt along the way.
I am more than happy to be challenged on anything that I might post but I would ask that you do it from a place of love as I will do with each of my blog posts....

All that leaves me to say, is that I am very much looking forward to connecting with you over the coming weeks and months.....

In love......

Thursday 29 September 2011

Attachments - Letting Go... Being in the Moment

"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."

Goenka

I have noticed myself reading much recently about the idea of 'letting go'. I have been conscious of hearing various people talk about the concept of letting go and that this does not mean giving up. It, therefore, seemed, timely to write a blog on this idea.

It seems that those things to which we are 'attached' can ultimately lead us to feeling out of control, feeling down or stressed, even cause us to behave in ways that is out of character, or hilights that part of our character that we do not like. And yet, letting go can be one of the hardest lessons that we learn in life. For in many ways it is through having attachments that we come to define ourselves. Attachment can be defined by an exaggerated not wanting to let go of something or someone.

It is through this exaggerated not wanting to let go of something or someone that we start to feel out of control.... this is ultimately because nothing actual belongs to us and certainly no other person belongs to us. At some point, all situations and people in our lives will change, whether that be today, tomorrow or in a few months or years.

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go of. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves.  Whilst attachments do include the materialistic things in life these are not the attachments that I would like to focus on. For, in my experience, it is the attachments to other people or situations that bring about the greatest imbalance in our lives.

When we form an attachment to another person or to a particular situation, we are ulitmately giving away our power. You have heard me say before that noone can make us feel anything... how we feel in any given momen is our choice. It is our choice as to how we react to a person or a situation. Noone can make us feel sad, happy, ecstatic, angry, elated. When we form an attachment, in particular to another person, our behaviour becomes determined by whether that person is behaving in the way that we want them to. When we are attached to a particular person and situation, it can be extremely painful when we realise that the situation has to change and we have to let that person go. It may be possible that, that person was never "ours" in the first place. We've simply created an attachment in our minds. This can only and will inevitably lead to disappointment to one degree or another.

In order not to become attached, we have to learn to be in the moment. To live only in the present moment. For it is only in the present moment that we can notice what is real and true in any moment. 

If a butterfly were to alight on our hand... the pleasure would be in experiencing that moment. In allowing the butterfly to remain there for as long is wishes. The moment we go to hold onto that butterfly by trying to take it within our grasp, we either cause the butterfly to take flight or we crush it within our grasp... by not allowing the moments to unfold moment by moment, we have destroyed beauty in our desire to "own" the butterfly.

Take a moment to reflect on the people or the situations in your life where you are holding on so tight that the mere fact of it not showing up in your life the way you want it to, shows that you are not experiencing that person or situation in the present. Take time to see where you are projecting your thoughts... projecting thoughts of desire or wanting something to be different. All the time that you are attached to the outcome of this situation, you are not present and not experiencing joy in the moment. It may be that you are unable to see the opportunities that are in front of you simply because you are so attached to something or someone else.

Take some time over the next few days to notice where you are attached to your thoughts, feelings or actions about a situation or person. We realise that we are "attached" when negative feelings arise. Be that frustration, anger, sadness, confusion to name a few. Notice when you have these emotions. Take a deep breath and in that moment ask yourself how it would feel to let go of the emotion and to let go of the attachment to whatever it may be. If you are truly in the moment, then you will notice that you have a choice to allow the negative feelings to continue or do you choose to let go and let the Universe decide. 

"Do what you can, with what you've been given, in the place where you are, with the time that you
have." This quote was written by a South African boy who died of Aids at the Age of 12.

Whilst we continue to attach ourselves to people and to situations, life is passing us by....
Whilst we continue to attach ourselves to people and to situations, we spend time experiencing negative emotions.

Try letting go and see how empowered you feel... practice it in each moment... let go of the past and let go of the future... see how it feels to experience each moment... for that is all we have.

Love and blessings, always
Nikola x