Your Heart is calling you Home.....

I am sitting here teetering on the edge of the most exquisite joy and the deepest surrender to that which is the reality of the current moment. All is so inextricably and deliriously linked. There is a light that pierces even the cloudiest of days that is calling my name and I am standing upon the shadows of past choices, past patterns, imprints... it matters not what I call it. 

Over the past few days and in having the most beautiful communication with people I recognise, witness and honour that many of us are currently playing the game of life to the very best of our ability. That manifests as moments of pure bliss and divine connection and moments of pain, discomfort and heady confusion. 

I made a heartfelt promise to share the building of my business, which is not just the building of my business, but the outpouring of my heart and soul. My business is both separate from me and it is me. I promised to share as it felt so incredibly important to be real. We are all the most potent and powerful light and for now we continue to cast shadows over ourselves in order to support us in remembering the depth of our love and the divinity of our light. 

Whilst writing this, I have a candle burning and a song in my heart that is so vast, so wide, so beautiful and so bright that I allow myself to feel into it so that I may immerse myself in gratitude and awe. In these moments I allow myself to surrender and to feel the support of the Universe for I know not, in my head, how to travel forwards... 

It has been in the witnessing of other people's hearts and their light and joy and the knowledge that they are here to serve but not necessarily knowing how, that I simply feel compelled to say that we are not alone. 

By sharing my current reality I sincerely hope that I give others the opportunity to speak up, to ask for help and guidance and ultimately to know that the divine spark and light they feel in themselves is their inner compass. Please don't ignore it any longer.... please let your heart speak to you, know your beauty and bring it forth in whatever way feels possible right now. Be gentle and listen to the joy in your heart. And if the question of what do you love brings up resistance, go out into nature and let her show you beauty in its simplest and most extraordinary form. 

There is no right or wrong way.... there is YOUR way and that is perfect for you. Don't let others write the script for your life. Even if the script is not fully formed in your vision, simply begin. 

I shared in my last blog that I was not entirely where I wanted to be with the business at this juncture and yet it was all perfect. The lessons, the inner work that desired to be carried out and was indeed necessary, have all been a part of taking steps forward. 
I sit here now with eighteen bottles of "Healing Caress" - the first essence in the collection of ten wondering how she will travel out into the world. I can feel the energy, the purity, the love that each one holds simply desiring to connect with its recipient. Their creation has been blessed at every step. 

The reality of my moment is that I am creating and being from and in my heart. There is no money in my bank account and I cannot (in this moment) be in fear of that for I am following my heart, my joy, my bliss in bringing these essences out into the world and in writing to you, whoever you may be. Please also know that in following my heart, I am also at odds with the fact that my head wanted to have the most beautiful website and branding and packaging to release these out into the world. That has simply not been possible so far. Yet the beauty of what has been created remains. 

You are the beauty of your heart. It matters not how it looks or how it is packaged simply that you share your heart and the song within it. 

The desire to reach out, to touch and to light the way for others has never been stronger and I know so, so, so many people who are feeling this way. From my heart to yours, listen to the song in your heart for it desires so much to be heard. It lifts others, it inspires others. Humanity needs you. Nature needs you. The children need you. Women need you. Men need you. Whoever your audience is, they need you. Please do not doubt that what you have to say and to share is not valid or worthy. There is always someone who needs to hear your voice, to feel your heart, to receive your arms in a hug. Your wisdom is the wisdom of your years and it will support someone and by default the circle of ripples will effect more than you can imagine. 

And in the honouring of my heart and creation, if anyone would like to buy a bottle of Healing Caress or a sample then please be in touch. She may well be just what you need to support you at this time. Like life she will catalyse and support you in the most honouring of ways. 

Take time to be still, to listen and to receive..... your heart is calling you home.

With love and blessings, always
Nikki xx

Not where you hoped you would be?! What if you are exactly where you need to be?!

Is it me or are we still on a rollercoaster of thrills and spills...

It's coming up to one year on since I was divinely guided to create a foundation and framework for my lifetime's work to come through. 
November 2015, I channelled 8 intentions that were to be created into natural perfumes based upon plant essential oils. Little did I know where I would be this time one year on.

I've flowed with my life in ways that I've never experienced before. I've faltered countless times. I've enjoyed synchronicities beyond my wildest imaginings. I've come up against stumbling blocks that felt insurmountable at times and yet my mission lodged so firmly in my heart, remained true. 

As I write I am reminded of how I felt all those months ago - that I knew without a doubt, that I was being asked to create and bring through that which has the potential to raise global awareness, that which has the potential to reconnect millions to their truth and ultimately to remember the fullness of the essence of who they are at their very core. 

Having such a mission does not come without questions and doubts. This year has been a year of deep and persistent and indeed insistent, inner work. It has been a year of realising that in order to create a sustainable global business, the foundations have to be deep. The foundations have to be strong. 

So, what is the purpose of this blog. It is an opportunity for me to stand still and take stock of all that has been accomplished. I'm not where I wanted to be. I wanted to launch the business with bells and whistles by the end of this year. Where I am, however, is exactly where I need to be. 

The impulse to write, therefore, is also about encouraging those who may be on a similar path, who had hoped to be further forward in their endeavours, who may have hoped to be reaping the rewards of their mission and service to humanity, to stop, take stock and to be grateful for all of the things that have taken place this year. For there will be countless moments and conversations and people to be grateful for. 

I set out to build a business created from the heart with purity and integrity at its very core and I have achieved that. It may not yet look as I had wished it too one year on but it feels exactly the way that I want it to. It is full of heart and expression, innocence and grace. And it will continue to grow in this way. 

I often refer to the way that a diamond comes into being and true clarity and brilliance comes from the depths and is formed out of pressure. Building a business, in my humble experience, is no different. At least a business that is strong, full of light and unmistakable. 

In a previous blog I recall saying that I wished the building of this business to be as much an inspiration to others as the actual business itself. I realise that for me I am inspired most by people who are real about where they are at. Real does not mean getting down and dirty and intimate with the story but with being honest and open about the challenges as much as the pitfalls. Do we not learn more this way? Do we not feel more akin to others? Do we feel less alone? It feels far more important to me to share my frustrations and enquiries than simply showing the shiny final product. 

Life is messy. Creating a heart centred business and mission is messy. Emotions and self worth come into play. Lord knows, planetary alignments and energies have played their part too this year. There is much that is taking place, both that we are aware of on a global scale, and that which goes unseen but perhaps felt on a multi dimensional level. I have never pretended to have all the answers or to understand everything that is playing out but what I do have is integrity and trust and an unquenchable thirst to learn, to grow, to thrive and to serve. 

And this blog is my way of continuing that service even though I am not exactly where I wanted to be right now. So, I say to you (as much as to myself).... 

Take time to honour you right where you are.

Take time to look back over the last year and look at the learnings and the gifts.

Place your hand on your heart and know that you are doing the very best you can with the knowledge that you have at your disposal.

You are a beautiful and divine being whose heart can move mountains, it may just take a little time and that's okay. In fact, its more than okay... its all in perfect and divine order. 

Take a look in the mirror and say to yourself with heartfelt honesty.... "You Got This".

And please, please, please keep trusting. 

And don't forget to ask for help once in a while!!

If you do this, your heart will guide you. That I know.

With love and blessings, always

Nikki x

What are you holding in your Heart, that wishes to be expressed?!

Dance like noone is watching.....
Trouble is, all I wanted as a child was for someone to watch me.

What one thing would you love to do that you are not doing or have not given yourself permission to do - maybe for years?!
What one thing would you simply love to do but it scares you?!
What one thing would give you so much joy, even if in private, and yet you don't allow yourself because it has been locked away?!

As a child out of the womb through to 11 years of age I danced, every possible dance you could think of..... ballet, latin, tap, ballroom, rock.... I wanted to perform, to be on stage, to be 'seen'... 

I locked it away for 30 years. 

Part of the journey of building this business is that I have been asked to fully get into my body.... to move, to work with it.... to dance with it. Ive been asked to be fully present here on the earth plane. And so I've given myself permission to dance again. Tonight I danced for an hour in my living room, in private, to Country Music. Yes, I gave myself permission to dance to the music my heart craves..... my body, my heart, my mind, my soul so grateful. 

Every part of our lives impacts every other part of our life. My business is asking me to respect and own my body. I can't build it without doing so..... surprises at every corner and not always easy. In fact this was deeply uncomfortable when I began a few weeks ago and now Im craving more. 

Listen. Act. Breathe. Trust...... Grace.

The Art of Heart in Business.......

I sat with a male friend yesterday exploring business plans and structures. I specify that it was a male friend, simply because I knew that I wanted a more logical brain to help push my boundaries.

One of the things that I have become increasingly aware of as I explore creating Infinite Essence is that I am building this business within a new paradigm. I am one of many women who realise that they cannot create using masculine principles or energy. This may seem obvious. We are not men. And yet, we have been trying to build business from this place for a long time, with varying degrees of success. 

Whilst my business has a particular focus, it also became self evident yesterday that one of the other extremely important pieces of this puzzle, is that I desire strongly to inspire other women to know and to trust that they can build their business from the space of their Heart too. 

On one level, I have absolutely no idea what I am doing. I have never done this before. On another level, I know with absolute certainty what I am doing because I am tapping into my own innate wisdom and intuition. One step at a time. One day at a time.

Building a business from the heart means building a business from the feminine essence of grace and from ebbing and flowing with our natural selves.
I'm in the flow. 
And being in the flow means that I am being challenged and pushed to the core of my inner knowing on an almost daily basis. However, being in the flow means that I am also trusting beyond what I considered to be the limits of my own ability to 'trust'. In these moments, I find the heart and the voice of the business that wishes to be born. 

As I sit here writing this, I can feel the emotions rising - the clarion call of asking you to trust more than ever before in what it is that you are wishing to create and to bring forth into the world. 

When we create from the heart, the vision becomes clearer.

When we ask questions from the heart, the signposts are ever more obvious.

When you build a business from this place you are not alone. And yes, I am referring to the wealth of support that comes from the Universe in its many different guises but more than that, I am talking about the support that comes from people around you. Since the conception of Infinite Essence and its gentle birthing, more and more people are coming into my life supporting me and co-creating with me to make this a reality. When you are in your heart, people simply feel and understand what you are doing. They may not be fully aligned with your vision or even the particular business you are designing and manifesting, and that is okay but they "get" it. This is because you are vibrating at the level of your heart.

And so I will continue to create this business of mine from this place and share the journey with you. It is a journey of discovery, of remembering, of deep inner knowing and trust. And in those moments, when I think I have everything covered, I push myself a little deeper. I listen to the voices of those around me suggesting that I need a Business Structure and a Business Plan and I explore those areas with heart and an openness. If my heart responds willingly and feels expansive then I will continue. If it feels constrictive and not aligned then I will graciously say thank you and let them know that it simply won't work for me doing it that way. A caveat to this is that it is important to explore and push your boundaries as I did yesterday to know ever more deeply and intimately what it is that YOUR heart wishes to share with the world and how YOUR heart wishes to create it.

Until the next time..... 

With love always,

Nikola 

DRIFT.... the Dance and the art of Flow following the Referendum

Sunday morning, I was taken to a Movement Medicine class by my dear friend Sophie. There has been much resistance in me to dance again as an adult. I always knew myself as a dancer when I was growing up.... and then I stopped. 

There are many reasons for this but suffice to say that going along to this class felt timely and necessary and a beautiful gift to my body and, therefore, there was resistance. The irony of resisting that which is good for us. Or perhaps the knowledge runs deeper, we know that it is going to open up a part of ourselves that we may, or may not be ready to come face to face with. 

The space and dance was held beautifully by Sjanie in Worthing.

We began the dance by choosing a power card..... "DRIFT"

I was somewhat curious about this card and this was not a word or a sentiment that I use or have come across very often. My initial thought process took me to driftwood, something that my Nana used frequently in her flower arranging. It also had initial negative connotations. Being a drifter feels without direction and certainly without action. Perhaps it was time to understand that drifting can indeed be a powerful action. This was not for me to think through - I was to here to dance and to embody, 'Drift'. The dance was there to take me on the journey into what Drift would mean for me.

As the dance unfolded over the course of the two hours - it became very clear and the reason for sharing it in a blog is that it feels aligned with what is happening externally in the world right now with the impact of the Referendum on our states of equilibrium.

As I began to dance I was immediately taken out to the ocean and found myself imagining that I was riding the crest of the wave... how would it feel to be that wave?! What I realised through the dance is that sometimes we have to go right out to sea, to the very depths of the ocean to begin to truly know something, to see something or to feel something. At other times we are in the shallower waters, and it is necessary for us to see the more minute detail and to feel the stones beneath us. 

To DRIFT with the tidal waves was to allow the water to hold me and whilst I was being buffeted around at times, so long as I did not resist, I flowed. My emotions were being stirred and my physical body was being stirred... I was being asked to flow with the emotions, to notice them but not to hold onto them. I was being asked to let go of the physical tightness in my body without trying too hard. Let the emotions drift in and out. 

At times, there are stormy seas, and we are experiencing this deeply with the Referendum, not necessarily because of the result, but more so because of the unrest and hate and anger that it has incited. There is a push and a pull, at times it can be fierce and unyielding. Imagine how it would feel to observe. We will, of course, feel it at differing levels, yet without resistance to it, we have a chance to remain in connection with ourselves, with others and have a choice to keep flowing.

At others times, I felt a calm and a stillness in the dance aware that the sea can look incredibly calm at times. In these moments, we can feel grateful for the quiet, so that we can stop and listen more acutely - though I was also aware than even in stillness, we are always in motion, always in flow.

For in the stillness, the dance was still going on around me. I was a still part of the Universal dance but gave myself the chance to be more conscious of my body within it and my own internal processes. After I heard the result of the Referendum I remember walking outside in the early morning sunshine and feeling a stillness in the air around me. I also remembering musing that it would be timely for humanity to take a moment to "breathe" and to be still, to refrain from externalising all their feelings of anger, frustration, confusion. Tension begets tension. Anger begets anger. And sometimes these emotions need to be 'danced' but perhaps in a more conscious way?! 

As I gave myself permission to dance fully, I became more of the dancer I used to know. I remembered how it felt to move and to be the dancer of my own life and I began to play at 'performing' my dance. As I did this I was aware of my energy and how I could choose to contain it, whether fierce or gentle, around others. I did not need to interrupt their flow and their dance but I could still be amongst them, still show up and be 'seen'. I needed only my own validation.

Perhaps there is a message in here too for people at this time. I sense we need to come home to our own emotions, be still with them, let go of resistance and be acutely aware of the impact that we have upon others. Fuelling the fires of tension simply fan the flames until the fire has no choice other than to become ever more fierce and destructive. Do we really need to destroy in order to create anew?! 

Stillness is my power and my essence and I understood yesterday that sometimes to find that stillness we have to move, create, act. I would simply encourage people to come back to this place of stillness after so much frenetic activity to find and engage with their deeper truth and perhaps even, the deeper truth of the Universe.

My body was so grateful for the dance, the movement and my acknowledgement of it. I felt alive, sensuous, connected and fully present to my body and my sense of self. This is what this moment is calling for. My legs were playful, lighthearted, remembering the fun elements of life. Lets remember to play. My feet were grounded, present, aware of the ground and the underground, the network of life beneath my feet. There is so much in life to be in awe of, lets remember the simplicity of this at this time. 

A blog about dance perhaps. A blog about humanity at this time, perhaps. 
Find within it what you need to at this time. 

With love always
Nikola

Dear Daddy…… (and a line to the feminine to allow the masculine to support them)

Dear Daddy…
It was your arms that I wanted to lift me up and swing me around
It was you that I wanted to watch me when I did a twirl in the garden or fell to my knees on the gravel
It was your voice I wanted to hear when I wanted someone to be proud
It was you that I wanted to make me feel safe when the lights got turned out at night
Your little girl (aged 7)

Dear Daddy… 
It is still your arms that I want to feel hold me when I want to be that little girl
It is still you that I want to watch me as I dance my way through life and stumble and fall on my way
It is still your voice that I want to hear telling me how proud you are of me and what I have achieved
It is still you that I want to support me and make me feel safe as I embark on this new and exciting venture
Your little girl (aged 40)

It has been a profound and deeply awe filled and inspiring time in my life the past few weeks and months as I embark on a project that can only be described as 'divine'. This project is supporting my work and life in ways I could not have scripted (and I have a pretty vivid imagination). There will be much more to share on this in future blogs as it grows and unfolds organically and in balance with where I am in my own life.

In my last piece of writing, I shared my vision of how I always see the feminine being supported by the masculine. In the last week, with the help of a couple of 'Angels" it became very clear that I wanted and needed the support of my father. He has always been there for me. Maybe not in the way his little girl craves but he was always there in the way he knew how. I realised this week that I had shared nothing of my 'project' with him on the pretence that he would not understand. I have felt for a long time that he does not understand me, nor my life choices, and indeed have felt something of a disappointment to him. 

In order to work with women and teach about the masculine supporting the feminine, I realised that I had to heal this part of my own life and take responsibility for my feelings and thoughts around this and allow him to fully support me. 

And so I drove to Dorset today to have a conversation with a man who finds it hard to be open about his feelings or talk in a candid way. I drove to Dorset today to let my Daddy know that I have always known how much he loves and that I now need his support more than ever and that I want him to be proud of me and my choices and my achievements. 

It was a beautiful and simple conversation - all my perceptions of him needing to understand me and my work fell away. I talked openly about who I am and the work I am here to do and he understood in the only way that this 40 year old woman needed him to. With love and pride simply because I am his little girl. 

This conversation was incredibly important for me personally and my work but also will send ripple effects across consciousness. I am asking for the feminine to allow the masculine to support once more. For women to step into their grace and for men to step into their role as container for that grace. 

Truth has an incredible way of setting everyone free to be who they truly are whether there is common ground and understanding or not. 

I invite you to seek to have a conversation with someone that you may be keeping at arms length in your life and yet would love to have them closer.  This conversation might feel incredibly uncomfortable and yet you know will create a sense of freedom once it has been had and healing will inevitably take place. Then, you can once again take a step into the wholeness of you. 

With love always
Nikola xx

Don't hold on to why it had to end....

Sometimes magic is fleeting
So very real but momentary....
Don't hold onto why it had to end
Rather hold onto the beauty that it happened at all......