Be Your Own Valentine.....

"Love unlocks doors and opens windows that weren't even there before." 

~Mignon McLaughlin~ 

As Valentine's Day approaches, I find myself wondering whether I wished that I were in a relationship, not because I fear Valentine's Day approaching and not having someone to share it with.... simply that since the shops are awash with cards and chocolates and flowers and gifts, it simply gives rise to thoughts of your own relationship status. In a similar way that an approaching New Year can cause people to readdress what is going on in their lives and can motivate people to make changes, Valentine's has a way of getting us to look at love and relationships. 

The truth of the matter is that I simply choose not to be in a relationship at the moment.... at least, not with someone else. You see, right now it is more important for me to nurture the relationship I have with myself. The greater the love and compassion that I can feel for myself, the more likely I am to attract the right person into my life when the time is right. In my last blog, I used the adage, "what you resist, persists" so I am also careful not to simply resist being in a relationship because somehow it feels easier to be on my own. I have always been quite independent and appear quite strong as an individual. Therefore, it is very easy for me to resort back to this stereotype and not allow anyone else in to my world.... 

I was reminded recently that sometimes it is through being in relationships that we learn our greatest lessons, we learn how to open our hearts more, how to communicate to a greater degree and appreciate the intricacies of sharing your life with someone else. It is okay to be vulnerable and put ourselves into a place of potentially being hurt. Nothing is worth doing unless it has the potential to make you feel....

It is a dance. We can choose never to step onto the floor, choose to learn the steps and practice the dance, or throw ourselves into the dance with gay abandon.

Where are you right now with the dance of love?! Notice where you are and spend some time thinking about why you are where you are... are you happy, content, joyful or do you feel sad, resentful, unhappy or frustrated. 

If you are single and feeling lonely and desperately wishing you were with someone. Take time this February to nurture and love you. Whilst we all love the feeling of being in a relationship, this is your time to be happy, joyful and content without feeling the need to be attached to someone else. Forgive the cliche, but when you love you, love finds you....

If you are alone and happy check in that you are simply not allowing someone else in for fear of getting hurt. I am not suggesting that everyone needs to be with someone, it is more than possible for people to be content and joyful alone. However, I am challenging you to ask yourself the question. Are you truly happy alone?! If the answer is yes, great. If the answer is no, then maybe you need to open your heart a little more, allow yourself to be vulnerable and get back onto that dance floor.

If you are in a relationship and feel alone, ask yourself whether you need to love you a little more in order to feel the love of the person you are with. If we are unhappy in a relationship, it does not necessarily mean that it is over... it may simply need a little self love on each part for you both to feel able to love each other again.

Whether single or in a relationship, the feelings can be the same so take the time to check-in with yourself and notice whether you are loving you.

Whilst it is not necessary to wait for Valentine's to do this, let's use it as an excuse to give ourselves a little love and compassion. You can do this whether you are in a relationship or not... loving yourself doesn't end simply because you are with someone. If you continue to show yourself love and compassion whilst in a relationship, then it will continue to grow and to flourish and reach new heights of experience.

How will you choose to show yourself a little love this February 14th?!

Why not write yourself a love letter?! This may sound kinda strange, but to hell with it.."you're worth it". Have some fun, write a letter and send it to yourself detailing just what it is about you that you love, that you find appealing and comforting. What is it about you that simply wouldn't change, how generous or how kind you are?! If you find this exercise challenging, then even more reason to do it... Tell yourself that you love the you of you. That you love the essence of who you are. Let's face it, you get to choose the card that you would send to you.... 

What else can you do this Valentine's to make yourself feel valued and loved?!

What do you love doing? Treat yourself.

Do you need some pampering? Treat yourself.

What is your favourite food? Treat yourself.

Who do you enjoy spending your time with? Treat yourself. 

If you are alone... Treat yourself to your favourite movie and spend some truly quality time valuing you. 

What small gift would you buy? Treat yourself. 

Whatever you are doing this Valentine's, whatever you choose to do make sure that you are loving you, nurturing you, valuing you.

Be Your Own Valentine as much as someone else's.....

With love and nurturance, 

Nikola xx