Being Open and Letting Love In...

"The love you seek is hidden deep inside you

And you alone have the power to set it free

You gotta learn to love you each and every moment

Love to love the you that’s there inside"

 I've been on an incredibly interesting, illuminating and intriguing journey in the last year. It's been a mixture of pleasure and pain, high's and low's, enlightening moments and moments of shere frustration. It has culminated this December in a much deeper understanding of just how important it is to be open and to truly understand just what it means to love and to let love in...

I was having a conversation with a beautiful friend this week about values that we hold most closely to us. One of mine has always been about being open, transparent if you will. Before I continue... let me ask you - what value or values do you hold above all others. If you are not sure how to answer this... make a list of about ten, that may include things like courage, justice, honesty, freedom and then see which of those you would be prepared to trade and the one or two you would not give up for any price. Once you have answered this, I want you to be very, very honest with yourself.  How much do you live this value authentically in your life? 


I ask this question because it became apparent to me recently that whilst I have always thought of myself as being very open and true to this esteemed value of mine, it was actually the value that I needed to work on the most. Through this year, a series of events and situations have called for me to stand in my power and stand in my truth and I have chosen to be more open and more transparent than ever before. It hasn't necessarily been that comfortable but out of allowing myself to be vulnerable, I have gained greater riches than I could have dared to hope for. 

People around me are more open, I am attracting more open people into my life. I am finding myself having ever more open conversations and my heart feels more fulfilled. I am starting to truly understand what happens when you start to let love in.... Every moment, every conversation can be an experience of love when you are open. A friend shared this quote with me this week; 

"Sometimes it's a form of love just to talk to somebody that you have nothing in common with and still be fascinated by their presence......"

Every moment has the potential to be magical.


Life and people are simply a mirror of who we are and how we feel about ourselves.... so I urge you to take the time to recognise those values that you hold dear. See where you could shine a light on your highest values and allow yourself to go within and ask the question, are you truly honouring that value in all that you are, do and speak?! If not, then try it out... allow yourself to be vulnerable and live this value moment by moment and await the rewards that the Universe will bring to you.


In Openness and Love, 
Nikola xx

Magic Mirror Girl

Written following my participation in the Finding Grace Project....

Part of finding grace for me has been about opening up to my creativity and not only that but being willing to share.... enjoy. xx

Magic Mirror Girl

She said

Why don’t you come on in?

Sit right down

And make yourself at home

Let’s simply talk for a while

About who you are, how things seem and where you’d like to be

And as the story started to unfold

The tears began to roll

The picture I was painting was of a little girl

Who’d forgotten how to love and let love in

She said

Why don’t you come on over here?

And sit yourself right down

Don’t think too much about the pose

Just let your feelings show

About who you are, how things seem and where you’d like to be

And as the camera started shooting

The tears began to roll

The picture being captured was of that little girl

Who’d forgotten how to love and let love in

She said

Take a look in the mirror

Tell me what you see…..

I held my breath and opened my eyes

And for the first time in a long time

I saw a soul who knows no fear

I saw magic in the mirror

And a heart about to soar

She said

Why don’t you come on over here?

And make yourself at home

Let’s simply talk for a while

For who you are and what you see

Are captured in this photograph

What I see are truth, love and beauty

Its time you let yourself believe

And as I looked into that photograph

The tears began to roll

The picture looking back at me

Was of a little girl remembering

How to love and how to let love in

She said

Take a look in the mirror

Tell me what you see…..

I held my breath and opened my eyes

And for the first time in a long time

I saw a soul who knows no fear

I saw magic in the mirror

And a heart about to soar

There was magic in the mirror

And love in my eyes

There was magic in the mirror

And love in my eyes

There was magic in the mirror

And love within my eyes

The Diamond Within...

"Diamonds are Forever... Forever.... Forever....."

You might be forgiven for thinking that I'm waivering from my spiritual journey and desire for non-attachment to the material world and instead opting for a life of glamour and glitz whilst manifesting for one of the most precious stones on the planet.... Not quite.

A very dear friend of mine used the metaphor recently of our being similar (does that make it a simile, rather than a metaphor... I digress) to a diamond. Being an Aries, with my birthstone being that of a diamond (sorry guys) and with a love of metaphors for life, this was one that I wanted to explore further and to share with you.

Diamonds are formed deep within the Earth:between 100 and 200km beneath the Earth's surface. They come into form under the most remarkable of conditions.They form at temperatures of around 900-1300 degrees celcius and are carried to the surface by volcanic eruptions. To ensure they are not converted to graphite, diamonds must be transported extremely rapidly to the Earth's surface. All natural diamonds are at least 990,000,000 years old. Many are 3,200,000,000 years old (3.2 billion years). A true diamond is known to be the hardest, strongest and most durable of all gemstones. In its natural state it is perfect in every way. A true representation of nature at its finest and most equisite.

So how does this relate to us as planetary beings?! We are at our very centre and in our natural state conected to the Earth in much the same way as the diamond. Our roots go far and beyond our comprehension and our inner essence is connected to the very core of this planet. We are born out of the very miracle of nature. A new-born child is akin to a diamond that has been pushed to the surface. Perfect and equisite. 

Diamonds, have been revered for hundreds of years by jewellers because of their equisite nature. Some are able to retain the essence of the diamond and keep it in as natural a state as possible and others play around with it so much that some of its natural beauty is lost. Whilst diamonds remain strong ... we are not always aware of their amazing brilliance or indeed where they came from.

When we enter this world our essence, our core, is incredibly strong, resilient, brilliant and full of light...  over the first seven years of our life we adapt to family, society, peer groups and we can start to lose a sense of our own strength and brightness.

So, what can we learn from an untouched diamond.... simply, that we have the ability to realign ourselves and our essence to re-connect with the core of who we are. Light, Bright, Clear, Strong and Resilient and Equisitely Beautiful in our natural state. We are always a Diamond within, we have just lost sight of it.

On a spiritual level, like many crystals and gemstones, diamonds are used for their healing properties. The Diamond is a symbol of the richness of the Self. As the hardest mineral of all, it is especially esteemed owing to its beauty, purity, and ability to reflect light in such a special way. It is believed that Diamonds bring purity, clarity and love to all situations.

When we are in alignment, such as a natural diamond, we are rich, strong and full of beauty. We resonate pure love and give off a brilliant light that has the capacity to strengthen and heal those around us. We have the ability to bring purity, clarity and love to all situations...

If you can, spend some time in stillness, reconnecting to your diamond within... notice where the clarity of your diamond may not be as clear as it needs to be. Notice where the light reflecting properties of your diamond are somewhat subdued. Notice if the heart of your diamond is full of colour and vitality....

Diamonds really are a girls best friend......

With love, light and clarity,

Nikola xxx

Attachments - Letting Go... Being in the Moment

"Grasping at things can only yield one of two results:
Either the thing you are grasping at disappears, or you yourself disappear.
It is only a matter of which occurs first."
Goenka

I have noticed myself reading much recently about the idea of 'letting go'. I have been conscious of hearing various people talk about the concept of letting go and that this does not mean giving up. It, therefore, seemed, timely to write a blog on this idea.

It seems that those things to which we are 'attached' can ultimately lead us to feeling out of control, feeling down or stressed, even cause us to behave in ways that is out of character, or hilights that part of our character that we do not like. And yet, letting go can be one of the hardest lessons that we learn in life. For in many ways it is through having attachments that we come to define ourselves. Attachment can be defined by an exaggerated not wanting to let go of something or someone.

It is through this exaggerated not wanting to let go of something or someone that we start to feel out of control.... this is ultimately because nothing actual belongs to us and certainly no other person belongs to us. At some point, all situations and people in our lives will change, whether that be today, tomorrow or in a few months or years.

In life, there's many things that we have to learn to let go of. We have to let go of situations, things, memories, people and even ourselves.  Whilst attachments do include the materialistic things in life these are not the attachments that I would like to focus on. For, in my experience, it is the attachments to other people or situations that bring about the greatest imbalance in our lives.

When we form an attachment to another person or to a particular situation, we are ulitmately giving away our power. You have heard me say before that noone can make us feel anything... how we feel in any given momen is our choice. It is our choice as to how we react to a person or a situation. Noone can make us feel sad, happy, ecstatic, angry, elated. When we form an attachment, in particular to another person, our behaviour becomes determined by whether that person is behaving in the way that we want them to. When we are attached to a particular person and situation, it can be extremely painful when we realise that the situation has to change and we have to let that person go. It may be possible that, that person was never "ours" in the first place. We've simply created an attachment in our minds. This can only and will inevitably lead to disappointment to one degree or another.

In order not to become attached, we have to learn to be in the moment. To live only in the present moment. For it is only in the present moment that we can notice what is real and true in any moment. 

If a butterfly were to alight on our hand... the pleasure would be in experiencing that moment. In allowing the butterfly to remain there for as long is wishes. The moment we go to hold onto that butterfly by trying to take it within our grasp, we either cause the butterfly to take flight or we crush it within our grasp... by not allowing the moments to unfold moment by moment, we have destroyed beauty in our desire to "own" the butterfly.

Take a moment to reflect on the people or the situations in your life where you are holding on so tight that the mere fact of it not showing up in your life the way you want it to, shows that you are not experiencing that person or situation in the present. Take time to see where you are projecting your thoughts... projecting thoughts of desire or wanting something to be different. All the time that you are attached to the outcome of this situation, you are not present and not experiencing joy in the moment. It may be that you are unable to see the opportunities that are in front of you simply because you are so attached to something or someone else.

Take some time over the next few days to notice where you are attached to your thoughts, feelings or actions about a situation or person. We realise that we are "attached" when negative feelings arise. Be that frustration, anger, sadness, confusion to name a few. Notice when you have these emotions. Take a deep breath and in that moment ask yourself how it would feel to let go of the emotion and to let go of the attachment to whatever it may be. If you are truly in the moment, then you will notice that you have a choice to allow the negative feelings to continue or do you choose to let go and let the Universe decide. 

"Do what you can, with what you've been given, in the place where you are, with the time that you
have." This quote was written by a South African boy who died of Aids at the Age of 12.

Whilst we continue to attach ourselves to people and to situations, life is passing us by....

Whilst we continue to attach ourselves to people and to situations, we spend time experiencing negative emotions.

Try letting go and see how empowered you feel... practice it in each moment... let go of the past and let go of the future... see how it feels to experience each moment... for that is all we have.

Love and blessings, always

Nikola x

Let go of the story - a lesson learned.

In my last blog I wrote the following:

"I have tried to find balance for others as well as myself, at times to the detriment of my own health and peace. 

I have been a warrior in life, fighting hard for what I believe in and I have retreated into a shell not allowing the world to touch me in any way. Much of my life has been filled with drama and confusion and pain but this is illusory..... it is just a story. I am not that story"

Interestingly in the last couple of weeks, I have allowed myself to subconsciously get caught up in my own story again. The story that it is better to be shy and reserved than confident and powerful. The story that it is better to serve than to lead.  The story that happiness can be found in giving all to others and not taking care to look out for the person who matters the most. Namely "Me" or if you are reading this, "You."

You see, what happens when you set store by doing everything for everyone else whilst playing out certain stories in your life, such as those above... people, arguably quite rightly, question your authenticity. 

If I am not the shy, reserved person of my story and I come across as powerful but dont stand true in that power, people get mixed messages about who I really am?! The trouble with human nature is that we are then very quick to judge and make assumptions.

My question to you then is, what stories are you playing out in your life because you feel it makes people more comfortable around you?

What stories are you playing out in your life because it feels safe, even though at the same time it might feel uncomfortable?

What parts of you are trying to be authentic but you're still dancing to other people's tunes and not your own?!

If, like me, you put other people's thoughts and feelings before your own. STOP AND THINK. Who is that serving? Is it serving you if people are getting the wrong impression? Is it serving them if they don't believe your actions are genuine?

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to them is to put yourself first. Trust your instincts and do what you need to do for you. Stand in your Power and your Truth. Be the amazing, authentic human being that you know you can be. In doing so, you show up in your truth and power and they see you for who you truly are and not the story that you think will make them feel comfortable.

That way, everyone wins and noone loses......

Love and blessings, 

Nikola xx

Finding Grace.... My Story

Finding Grace has had a profound impact on how I now choose to tell and to share my story. Finding Grace, in its very essence, has held a mirror up and asked me to look within and to find the Grace within myself. 

My life is about balance. This has manifested in many different ways throughout my life and I have tipped the scales of emotion in my life to the very extremes of sheer desperation and to the highs of ecstasy. I have tried to find balance for others as well as myself, at times to the detriment of my own health and peace. 

I have been a warrior in life, fighting hard for what I believe in and I have retreated into a shell not allowing the world to touch me in any way. Much of my life has been filled with drama and confusion and pain but this is illusory..... it is just a story. I am not that story.

Finding Grace, for me, is about recognising the truth of who we are in a world that is perfectly balanced. And if what we are is a reflection of this world, then we have it within our power to be truly balanced.

We are all connected in a world of duality. Light and Dark. Ying and Yang. Fire and Water. Earth and Sky. Finding Grace, finding balance is about allowing my life to flow, to truly connect to the energies of this amazing planet we live on. If I can do this for just one minute of every day, then my heart will continue to open and to be nourished and natural balance will find me. I will no longer find myself being buffeted around by the life that I have created but will find myself making choices from a place of heart-centred openness.

Finding Grace is about relinquishing control and flowing. 

I may not know what the butterfly will look like or even when she will emerge but what I do know is that when she does she will be beautiful and full of Grace.

My heartfelt thanks to Lynda and The Finding Grace Project.

Love and Blessings,

Nikola xxx

Finding Grace....

Finding Grace is a beautiful project - the inspiration of a Very Beautiful Soul who also happens to be a good friend of mine.

Lynda Kelly has a dream.

Lynda is a very talented photographer, who is taking her passion for photography, and with it, choosing to change the lives of others. This year Lynda hopes to take 1,000 portrait photographs of women, who are prepared to share their story and the money raised will go straight to The Rainbow Trust. A charity who provide emotional and practical support to families whose children have life threatening or terminal illnesses.

Lynda is also an extremely intuitive coach and in the telling of your story through the medium of photographs, you will discover even more about your self and your story and you will have a beautiful portrait photograph of yourself to treasure.

Take a look at the attached link and if you would like to be a part of this amazing project then please contact me.... www.findinggraceportraits.co.uk

I am in the process of writing my own story of Finding Grace in my life as I had my photographs taken just a couple of days ago... I will share both the photographs and my story in my next blog post.

The project is magical so why not get involved, making one very special lady's dream come true and helping to support and enrich the lives of the children and families of The Rainbow Trust.

With love and blessings,

Nikola x

Serotonin - your natural happiness drug!

Time and time again you will hear me say that I believe that our bodies, hearts and minds have an innate ability to work healthily and effectively for us. Unfortunately, we constantly put pressure on all aspects of ourselves, or allow external pressures to affect us and our natural rythmn's and balance become out of synch. The consequences; feelings of stress, anxiety, depression - to name but a few afflictions.

Serotnonin is our bodies own natural chemical process that affects how we feel. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, involved in the transmission of nerve impulses. It is this process that triggers feelings of happiness and is, therefore, believed to help regulate our moods, aiding sleep, calming anxiety and relieving depression. Your body makes serotonin out of the amino acid tryptophan and low levels are recognised widely as being associated with depression, anxiety, apathy, fear, feelings of worthlessness, insomnia and fatigue. Most prescription medication targets serotonin. 

We, therefore, need to recognise and understand for ourselves what it is that we need to do to change the levels of serotonin in our bodies to promote a natural and healthy response to depleting levels. 

Our diet, thoughts, emotions, behaviour and our connection to nature all affect our bodies natural chemistry. Relaxation, exercise, breathing and good nutrition all have a positive impact on our bodies' chemical processes. It is also no coincidence that time spent in nature has an effect on our serotonin levels. Energy from the sun and the earth helps  regulate our own natural balance. It is not just a mental process that makes us think we feel better, our chemical balance actually changes when we are in a more natural space.

It is possible to use all of the above techniques to manage your body's serotonin levels. Start to pay attention to the little things that make you feel good and systematically start to include them in your daily routine, to encourage your body to manage and to balance your serotonin levels. If you find yourself saying that you do not have the time or even the inclination - then ask yourself the question, which is more important. Your health and happiness or continuing to feel anxious, stressed or even depressed?!

What can you do that will help you to raise your body's serotonin levels?! Take time to express gratitude in the morning for all that you have. This immediately puts you into a constructive and positive frame of mind in the morning. Take a warm shower in the morning and visualise washing away any thoughts that don't serve you, any feelings of stress or anxiety. This in itself is enough to raise your serotonin at the beginning of the day. Take time to listen to your favourite music. Music that engages, relaxes and makes you feel happy. Eat nutritious food. We all know the feelings of guilt or indeed the actual physical reactions that our bodies have to food that does not make us feel good. So, don't go there in the first place. (Don't give yourself a hard time if you do) but simply make the choice to eat food that makes you smile and you choose to take the time to savour and to enjoy. Choose to spend time with loved ones and make it quality time. Take regular exercise and make sure that you recognise how the exercise makes you feel better and healthier. It is not about making yourself look better on a superficial level... it is about making yourself feel better from the inside out.

Start by making small changes on a daily basis and the effects will be felt on a much bigger scale... this I promise you.....

Let me know, as always, how you get on and share your experiences with me.

With love and blessings,

Nikola xx

Personal Coaching by Email

I am very excited that today sees the launch of my new:

"Personal Coaching by Email"

Whilst I feel very strongly that it is always important to continue to do the things you love and to always give time to yourself and to your needs and desires, it is not always as easy to put this into practice; especially when all the messages in the Media are telling us how expensive life is.... When we hear messages like that, many of us choose to forgo what are seen as lifestyle "nice to have's"  such as massage, coaching, yoga, meditation classes etc. Therefore, I wanted to offer you the opportunity to continue to give to yourself and your own development in a much more affordable way. Not only that, but I also wanted to incorporate my own strengths and passion into the work that I do.

Therefore, I have chosen to create an email Coaching facility to my business. As many of you will have heard me say before, my passion is words and I recognise my ability to coach through the medium of words. I am able to intuit far more from what people write than what they say. 

Coaching by Email - How will it work?

You will be able to email me at any time of day or night with your questions or coaching issues and I promise to get back to you within 12 hours... The difference being that you no longer have to wait until your next appointment to ask that all important question. You will be able to start implementing the changes that we write about as soon as you have read my response.

There are a number of incredibly inspirational sites on the internet now offering advice and support and blog sites that cover any number of subjects. What I am offering, is the chance for you to get a response and to make that advice and support personal to you.

I love reading columns in magazines that provide insight and inspiration, however, sometimes I feel the need for it to be more personal for me to truly implement it in my own life.

Coaching by Email - How much will it cost?

1 month = £10

3 months = £27

6 months = £54

There is no limit to the emails and questions that you can raise in that time. All I would ask is that your intent in using this service and posing your coaching issues is that they are real and of significance and importance to you.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at beinyourpower@live.com if you have any questions on how this might work for you.

I look forward to working with you over the coming weeks.....
Love and blessings, always
Nikola x

Gratitude...

A short and simple blog post with a simple message that can have the most profound effect on your life....
If you choose to do one thing to affect your world... then be grateful.

It is in being thankful for all that we are and all that we have that we can let go of all the feelings of what we don't want in our lives or what we don't enjoy or what we would ideally like to change. That is not to say that we can't change things or even desire to do so but it is in being grateful that we recognise that which we already have, that which already exists of great beauty in the world.

Take one week and every morning for a week, spend five minutes before you do anything else, being grateful... Notice how it makes you feel and how the rest of your day pans out when you start the day saying thank you.

Love and blessings and gratitude always...

Nikola xx

Community Medicine......

It's interesting - I make a point of choosing not to watch the news. Not because I have no interest in what is going on in the world around me, quite the contrary - I have so much interest in the world around me and the people who inhabit this world - however, I choose not to get caught up in the negative energy that comes at us from every medium.

However, I did turn on the television today in the middle of a piece of news, that did catch my attention. And when it does that, it obviously has a message or is important for me to notice. It was again about the percentage increase of people who are being diagnosed as suffering with depression. This they site as largely due to financial worries and stress caused by being out of work for long periods of time.

The answer for many is to go their GP and ask for prescription medicine to help them through these challening times.

I do not question that life is tough for many of us but it did make me challenge our reactions and the choices that seem to be available to us in order to support and help us. 

If I do not believe that prescription medicine is the way forwards then what do I wish that GP's were able offer us. My initial reaction was that a lot of the time what people really need is someone to talk to, someone to whom they can unload their fears and worries without being judged. I fully appreciate that this is not a role that most GP's are able to offer for they simply do not have the time or the resources. If money is the issue that is causing a person the most distress, then they are not likely to wish to pay to see a Psychiatrist or Coach. Which led me to ask the question that if depression and stress are on the rise then what did we do before GP's and prescription medicine.

And my answer as it often does leads me back to community. We used to live in communities where we knew there was always someone we could turn to in our hour of need. People naturally lived together and thought nothing of loving, supporting, nourishing and caring for each other. It was never questioned, it was simply a way of life. There would always be someone that you could go and talk to to seek advice or simply to offload your fears and concerns to. There was always someone ready to feed you or to hug you or to watch out for you. 

In our bid for independence and subsequent stoic behaviour, we have become so isolated that in times of trouble and need, we feel only desperation, isolation and separateness. So we seek out professionals rather than friends and families. We have come to believe that only people who are in a position of authority or greater knowledge can tell us what to do or to help us. Whatever happened to listening to our own intuition and of seeking solace in family, friends and our community.

These sorts of communities do exist in our world and I admire so much the love and support that they share with each other on a daily basis, no matter what. 

My question to you with this blog is to challenge the need to do things alone. Do you need to be afraid alone? Do you need to suffer alone? Do you need to worry alone?

How can you bring yourself closer to being in a community..... who do you know that would love and support you, no matter what. What would it take for you to express your need to talk, to share. There is a great gift in asking for help. Someone will always want to listen and to help, that is part of the gift of human nature.  We just have to find those people.

So, go out and find your community - you might just find them in the most surprising of places.

With love and blessings, always

Nikola x

Beauty and the Beast of the Industry...

It's been an incredibly interesting process for me writing this blog.... I am thrilled that so many of you are enjoying, relating and feeling supported by what I have written so far. It has also proved to be an incredibly cathartic process for me personally, I am connecting to myself on a deeper level. In this vain, I really would encourage you to share your thoughts with me or if you do not feel comfortable in doing this, then at least begin to keep a journal, writings of your own. There is something incredibly powerful about taking your thoughts and feelings that swim around in your head and putting pen to paper... Seeing your subconscious thoughts in black and white can have a healing quality all of their own. By writing things down we can release some of the pent up negative energy that goes around and around and around in our heads. Try it for a few days and see how you feel. Don't give yourself a hard time if you miss a day or two... its about recognising the times when it might just benefit you in ways that you may not have imagined.

One of the things that has come to light for me whilst writing this blog is how important it is for me to share one of the other subjects that I feel very passionate about and is very close to my heart. I am, therefore, opening this blog up to include the subject of beauty and what that means to us as individuals and in today's society.

I have expressed to a handful of people that my greatest desire in this world would be to turn the fashion and beauty industry on its head... Why do I feel so drawn to do this?! One, because I see how much negative energy there is within the industry and how it undermines both men and women. How as a society we are so fixated by image and what we perceive to be beautiful. That an industry can continue to be run in the same way and yet is widely recognised that it has an impact on diseases such as anorexia and bulimia. Women and men become objects used to sell. I could go on and on.... I am not saying that the industry is the only one at fault for our lack of self-esteem and self worth. However, imagine turning this multi-million pound industry on its head and using the money and its contacts and high visibility to create and support a global society that sees beauty for what it really is. Its not what we look at, or how we look, its how we feel from the inside and how we then share that with the rest of the world.

In essence, what pains me the most, is that we have completely lost sight of what it means to be beautiful and to recognise beauty in others... how many of you reading this can put your hand on your heart and state that you feel beautiful, that you are beautiful?! I suspect that the percentage is not that high and yet every single one of you and I mean, every single one of you is beautiful and has the right to feel beautiful and to never have to feel anything but. That is the simple truth.

The second reason for my desire to tackle this industry is that from a very early age I experienced first hand time and time again what it is like to be perceived to be attractive and, therefore, judged.  In my own experience it was not okay to be attractive and be quiet and shy. I was labeled precocious as a small child. Bullied at school for having male friends. I remember walking in on a conversation at the age of 15 where I was labeled as the person who was most likely to lose their virginity in the year. I must have been sleeping with the boys and smoking drugs, else why would they choose to spend their time with me. At University, I sat in my room whilst a group sat outside talking about how arrogant and up my own arse (forgive the obscenity) I was and how I thought I was something special. 

In truth, I was shy with very low self esteem and just wanted to be included. To be able to just be a part of a group of friends and not judged on any level.

Now, my story is not unusual and that is what saddens me. How quick are any of us to judge someone else?! And how often do we make that judgement based upon what someone looks like?! And where have we learned what it is to be attractive, beautiful.... we are brainwashed every day of our lives with advertisements and tv shows and glossy magazines. Is it any wonder then that we categorise and make judgements on a daily basis about people we see and whom we come into contact with?! How often do we make a judgement and later change our minds because we've got to know that person.

Take the time to notice when you make such judgements - don't beat yourself up about it. Just notice and then in the same moment, make a choice to feel differently about that person. Connect with your own beauty within and simply send love to that person. See the soul or essence of that person as beautiful and notice how this makes you feel differently. 

If we believed everyone to have a beautiful soul or spirit, everyone would simply show up that way to us. We'd no longer have a need to judge or put people in boxes. Imagine what it would be like to simply see everyone as beautiful, no matter what. For one, you would start to recognise your own beauty. The beauty of who you really are.

With love and blessings to you beautiful people,

Nikola x

Think you need fixing.......? Think again.

One of the most common misperceptions that has been created by our society and culture and that we constantly remind ourselves of, is that as individuals we need fixing. 

In simplified terms when we are offered anti-depressants in order to relieve us of the symptoms of depression, we are led to believe that these drugs can or will in some way fix us. That's what we do and have been taught to do. We have an ailment, we go to the doctor, he fixes us. Applying a band aid to a cut is a short term fix. However, let me ask you this? Is it actually the band aid that heals the cut or is it our bodies innate ability to activate the necessary internal processes that allow the blood and nutrients of the body to heal the cut and allow the skin to regrow, that actually heals the cut? The band aid may prevent bacteria from getting into the cut and making it worse, but it does not actually do the healing. The healing is an internal process.
In the same way, anti-depressants, in my mind, are only ever a short term fix. For some people they are a short term fix that become a life-long addiction. And all this stems from the one simple fact that at some level we believe we need to be fixed or to fix ourselves in order to feel differently. In order for long-term and sustained change to take place, the healing has to come from within.

If you do nothing else, then please understand one thing in this moment. Who you are, where you are and what you are is PERFECT. You are whole in a perfectly imperfect way. If we can let go of the idea that what we are is wrong and needs fixing, and accept that we are perfect, and accept who we are - that is the key - then we can get out of our own way. When we stop resisting change, change will occur naturally. When we believe that we need fixing, we are stating that we are not perfect in some way and are resistant to any change. You only have to look at the world at the moment to recognise that change is inevitable. It will happen regardless of how we think or feel. So get out of your own way - stop resisting by believing that you need fixing - and allow yourself to change. 

The other really important thing to recognise here is that no feeling, no emotion is either good or bad, positive or negative. Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not believe that we are striving to be in a constant state of happiness or of joy, but what we are striving for is an ability to change how we are feeling in any given moment. To change our state when we choose. To feel sadness, fear, anger are all healthy emotions when we allow those emotions to flow. These emotions become unhealthy when we wallow or get stuck in them. We get stuck in them when we tell ourselves that we need fixing because something must be wrong with us. But if we did not feel sad or angry or fearful, how would we know when we felt joy or happiness or delight. Every emotion is healthy if we allow those emotions to flow.  

So, what do you need to do in order to allow your emotions to flow?! Accept yourself as the truly perfect human being that you are, let go of the need to fix or be fixed and trust that change can occur and that it will occur. 

Again, as I have stated before - I am not saying that this is a quick fix, pardon the pun. However, recognising where you are and how you can change it, will allow you to change your state in any given moment. 

So, practice letting go of the idea of needing to fix something or to be fixed. Let yourself be in the flow of the emotion. As soon as it feels stuck or as though you are wallowing, recognise it and change it. Think about how you would desire to feel instead. Go into your heart centre and draw to you the emotions that you would truly like to feel and change your state, in that very moment. Practice this as often as you need to and I promise you that change will happen. It's inevitable.

With love to the perfect being that you are,

Nikola xxx
 

Its time to make a choice.....

That gut wrenching feeling of being kicked over and over again in the stomach... despair, disillusionment, loss of will, the overwhelming childlike behaviour of crawling on your hands and knees, sobbing to the point of sheer exhaustion... shaking to the point of numbness, loss of feeling, loss of awareness... lack of caring. Anger, frustration... pleading, helpless. Alone. Frightened. 
In these moments, it feels all but impossible to lift yourself out of the all encompassing shadow that has passed your door, yet again. 


But it is possible. Anything is possible - it is just belief that stops us. And if it is possible then it can only be true that we have a choice in the moment... we have a choice to let all of the above feelings take over or to choose to step aside and watch as if observing from a different place. When we react so vehemently and we get caught up in the moment of panic and fear, we can make a decision to change the ultimate outcome. Again, I am not saying it is easy but with practice, it will get easier and easier.


The first step is to recognise and tell yourself that you have a choice. To choose to be overwhelmed or to choose to step aside and watch as if an onlooker. When we step aside and watch the episode unfold as if we are not attached to the feelings, our body does not react in the same way. Emotions create our behaviours. It is what we feel that we act upon. 


When you start to unleash the emotions that you know will take you on that slippery slope. STOP. BREATHE and make the choice to simply observe. Just notice.  Make no judgements, just notice. What happens?! If we are not acting upon the feelings by becoming the observer, then the feelings are not attached to anything and will dissipate.


If we can learn to detach from the emotions that cause us to feel depressed then we will start to stop acting upon those feelings. By default we will then cease to attract more negative energy into our space and the episodes of depression will become shorter and shorter.


I realise that this all sounds so simple. All I would ask is that you try. It is in changing the patterns of behaviour that we can start to unravel what keeps us locked into feelings of depression and negativity.


Sending you all love and support, 
With blessings,
Nikola x

Where One Man meets the World......

With this installment you might be forgiven for thinking that I am digressing from the initial intention with this blog, however, the story I wish to share with you today encompasses all that I am sharing on many different levels.

In order to see the light within ourselves, sometimes we have to look outside of ourselves and take action.... I fundamentally believe, as I have stated previously, that our own healing has to come from within. In order for our light to shine in the world we have to shine out from our hearts and our souls.  To recognise the beauty within and to radiate that out into the world.

What I am proposing today is that you allow yourself to accept the love of the world too. This will support your own innate ability to love yourself and give freely of love to others.

On March 20th, 2011 - one man invites you to share in raising the vibration of the world in a meeting of minds, hearts and intentions. To share your dreams and prayers of love and peace with the world. As you share your love with the world, so the world will share its love with you.... Today you will be able to recognise and to feel that we are all one, we are all connected.

Eddie McCann is a passionate and romantic Irishman. He has a vision. That on the 20th March 2011, when day and night are of equal length, we share in one thought and action. To send a Blue Balloon into the skies sharing our hopes and dreams for a world filled to the brim with love and peace. It is that simple. And this one simple action will light a light in you, for you will be able to feel the energy of the world resonating and giving back all that you give to it.

Join Eddie on his Facebook Page: Blue Balloon Day and share your thoughts and comments and ideas. Be a part of making this day special for every single one of us residing on this beautiful planet. On this page you will find notes on using the most environmentally friendly balloons and how to participate.  Talking to Eddie lit a spark in me, and a desire to make this a reality. Love and Peace do not cost us anything. Just a desire and an intention....

What will you do to make Blue Balloon Day a reality for you, those around you and for the World......?!

One Vision..... One Dream.... One Small Step.... A World united in Love and Peace.

With love, peace and blessings always

Nikola xx

Where Science meets Nature and Intuition.....

The information I am about to share with you is not my own - I am no Scientist. However, when I read what I am about to share with you, I intuitively knew that it had huge relevance to me and how I felt and how it would help me move forwards. Therefore, I trust that it too can help you.

I also want to say here how important intuition is when we are healing our own bodies. If we can get to a place of really listening deeply to what our bodies are telling us then we have a fighting chance of changing that which no longer serves us. I fundamentally believe that the body has the ability and capacity to be 100% healthy. Again, this will be challenging for people to read who have suffered with dis-ease throughout their lives. However, if I did not believe this, then I would not believe that we have the capacity to change anything in our lives. And yet, I believe that we have the capacity to change absolutely anything and everything we choose.

So, let me pose a question to you? How well do you know your own body? How often to do you truly listen to what it is telling you? Do you give it the love and the nurture it so deserves? It carries you and your feelings and thoughts around on a daily basis... how often do you thank it for doing so. Trust your intuition and let your body tell you what it needs, right now. 

If you are unsure, then go and spend some time outside - rain or shine. Walk barefoot on the grass. This might seem somewhat ridiculous, however, our body works in rythmn with nature. More so than perhaps most of us take the time to recognise. How often does going for a walk by the sea, or taking in the mountain air make us feel better... and if you do not have the sea or a mountain range at the bottom of your garden - find your nearest park and simply go and breathe in the air and feel the earth beneath your feet.

I digress.... so, back to the Science.

Our bodies are 70% water and in order for our bodies to operate at full capacity we need to be fully hydrated.  The majority of dis-ease in the body occurs when the body is no longer fully hydrated. We have been reading for years how important it is to take on at least 8 glasses of water a day but how many of us really understand why or make the connection between how we feel on a deep level with how hydrated we are. 

Let's take this one step further and see how this potentially relates to depression. There are four main electrolytes in the body; sodium, potassium, calcium and magnesium. These electrolytes charge the body by charging the water within our bodies and dependent upon the actual charge they are carrying, they move water in and around the body. Sodium and Calcium always partner together and their natural position is outside the cell. However, during the daytime, when the sun is dominant over the moon, we are in active mode and it is light, a significant amount of that sodium and calcium pass through the cell membrane and into the cell. The sodium displaces potassium and the calcium displaces the magnesium. During the hours of darkness, this whole process is reversed. If this process completes then you have the perfect exchange of electrolytes. These electrolytes also hold negative and positive charge and take light into and out of the cells. In a fully hydrated person, light enters the cells during daylight and leaves the cells at nightime... in perfect harmony with nature.

This process, however, becomes disrupted in a person who is not fully hydrated. In the case of depression, it is likely that the correct exchange of electrolytes and their positive and negative charge are not fully functioning at their optimum level. If light is not being absorbed back into the cells then we remain in a 'literal' state of darkness. 

We all know how much better we feel when the days are longer and we have more light, or how much better we feel when we are outside in the sun absorbing light and energy. However, this is a temporary fix for those who suffer with depression. What we absolutely need to do is to address what is happening at the absolute core of our being.... 

As always, with love and light

Nikola xx