Gratitude...

A short and simple blog post with a simple message that can have the most profound effect on your life....
If you choose to do one thing to affect your world... then be grateful.

It is in being thankful for all that we are and all that we have that we can let go of all the feelings of what we don't want in our lives or what we don't enjoy or what we would ideally like to change. That is not to say that we can't change things or even desire to do so but it is in being grateful that we recognise that which we already have, that which already exists of great beauty in the world.

Take one week and every morning for a week, spend five minutes before you do anything else, being grateful... Notice how it makes you feel and how the rest of your day pans out when you start the day saying thank you.

Love and blessings and gratitude always...

Nikola xx

Community Medicine......

It's interesting - I make a point of choosing not to watch the news. Not because I have no interest in what is going on in the world around me, quite the contrary - I have so much interest in the world around me and the people who inhabit this world - however, I choose not to get caught up in the negative energy that comes at us from every medium.

However, I did turn on the television today in the middle of a piece of news, that did catch my attention. And when it does that, it obviously has a message or is important for me to notice. It was again about the percentage increase of people who are being diagnosed as suffering with depression. This they site as largely due to financial worries and stress caused by being out of work for long periods of time.

The answer for many is to go their GP and ask for prescription medicine to help them through these challening times.

I do not question that life is tough for many of us but it did make me challenge our reactions and the choices that seem to be available to us in order to support and help us. 

If I do not believe that prescription medicine is the way forwards then what do I wish that GP's were able offer us. My initial reaction was that a lot of the time what people really need is someone to talk to, someone to whom they can unload their fears and worries without being judged. I fully appreciate that this is not a role that most GP's are able to offer for they simply do not have the time or the resources. If money is the issue that is causing a person the most distress, then they are not likely to wish to pay to see a Psychiatrist or Coach. Which led me to ask the question that if depression and stress are on the rise then what did we do before GP's and prescription medicine.

And my answer as it often does leads me back to community. We used to live in communities where we knew there was always someone we could turn to in our hour of need. People naturally lived together and thought nothing of loving, supporting, nourishing and caring for each other. It was never questioned, it was simply a way of life. There would always be someone that you could go and talk to to seek advice or simply to offload your fears and concerns to. There was always someone ready to feed you or to hug you or to watch out for you. 

In our bid for independence and subsequent stoic behaviour, we have become so isolated that in times of trouble and need, we feel only desperation, isolation and separateness. So we seek out professionals rather than friends and families. We have come to believe that only people who are in a position of authority or greater knowledge can tell us what to do or to help us. Whatever happened to listening to our own intuition and of seeking solace in family, friends and our community.

These sorts of communities do exist in our world and I admire so much the love and support that they share with each other on a daily basis, no matter what. 

My question to you with this blog is to challenge the need to do things alone. Do you need to be afraid alone? Do you need to suffer alone? Do you need to worry alone?

How can you bring yourself closer to being in a community..... who do you know that would love and support you, no matter what. What would it take for you to express your need to talk, to share. There is a great gift in asking for help. Someone will always want to listen and to help, that is part of the gift of human nature.  We just have to find those people.

So, go out and find your community - you might just find them in the most surprising of places.

With love and blessings, always

Nikola x

Beauty and the Beast of the Industry...

It's been an incredibly interesting process for me writing this blog.... I am thrilled that so many of you are enjoying, relating and feeling supported by what I have written so far. It has also proved to be an incredibly cathartic process for me personally, I am connecting to myself on a deeper level. In this vain, I really would encourage you to share your thoughts with me or if you do not feel comfortable in doing this, then at least begin to keep a journal, writings of your own. There is something incredibly powerful about taking your thoughts and feelings that swim around in your head and putting pen to paper... Seeing your subconscious thoughts in black and white can have a healing quality all of their own. By writing things down we can release some of the pent up negative energy that goes around and around and around in our heads. Try it for a few days and see how you feel. Don't give yourself a hard time if you miss a day or two... its about recognising the times when it might just benefit you in ways that you may not have imagined.

One of the things that has come to light for me whilst writing this blog is how important it is for me to share one of the other subjects that I feel very passionate about and is very close to my heart. I am, therefore, opening this blog up to include the subject of beauty and what that means to us as individuals and in today's society.

I have expressed to a handful of people that my greatest desire in this world would be to turn the fashion and beauty industry on its head... Why do I feel so drawn to do this?! One, because I see how much negative energy there is within the industry and how it undermines both men and women. How as a society we are so fixated by image and what we perceive to be beautiful. That an industry can continue to be run in the same way and yet is widely recognised that it has an impact on diseases such as anorexia and bulimia. Women and men become objects used to sell. I could go on and on.... I am not saying that the industry is the only one at fault for our lack of self-esteem and self worth. However, imagine turning this multi-million pound industry on its head and using the money and its contacts and high visibility to create and support a global society that sees beauty for what it really is. Its not what we look at, or how we look, its how we feel from the inside and how we then share that with the rest of the world.

In essence, what pains me the most, is that we have completely lost sight of what it means to be beautiful and to recognise beauty in others... how many of you reading this can put your hand on your heart and state that you feel beautiful, that you are beautiful?! I suspect that the percentage is not that high and yet every single one of you and I mean, every single one of you is beautiful and has the right to feel beautiful and to never have to feel anything but. That is the simple truth.

The second reason for my desire to tackle this industry is that from a very early age I experienced first hand time and time again what it is like to be perceived to be attractive and, therefore, judged.  In my own experience it was not okay to be attractive and be quiet and shy. I was labeled precocious as a small child. Bullied at school for having male friends. I remember walking in on a conversation at the age of 15 where I was labeled as the person who was most likely to lose their virginity in the year. I must have been sleeping with the boys and smoking drugs, else why would they choose to spend their time with me. At University, I sat in my room whilst a group sat outside talking about how arrogant and up my own arse (forgive the obscenity) I was and how I thought I was something special. 

In truth, I was shy with very low self esteem and just wanted to be included. To be able to just be a part of a group of friends and not judged on any level.

Now, my story is not unusual and that is what saddens me. How quick are any of us to judge someone else?! And how often do we make that judgement based upon what someone looks like?! And where have we learned what it is to be attractive, beautiful.... we are brainwashed every day of our lives with advertisements and tv shows and glossy magazines. Is it any wonder then that we categorise and make judgements on a daily basis about people we see and whom we come into contact with?! How often do we make a judgement and later change our minds because we've got to know that person.

Take the time to notice when you make such judgements - don't beat yourself up about it. Just notice and then in the same moment, make a choice to feel differently about that person. Connect with your own beauty within and simply send love to that person. See the soul or essence of that person as beautiful and notice how this makes you feel differently. 

If we believed everyone to have a beautiful soul or spirit, everyone would simply show up that way to us. We'd no longer have a need to judge or put people in boxes. Imagine what it would be like to simply see everyone as beautiful, no matter what. For one, you would start to recognise your own beauty. The beauty of who you really are.

With love and blessings to you beautiful people,

Nikola x

Think you need fixing.......? Think again.

One of the most common misperceptions that has been created by our society and culture and that we constantly remind ourselves of, is that as individuals we need fixing. 

In simplified terms when we are offered anti-depressants in order to relieve us of the symptoms of depression, we are led to believe that these drugs can or will in some way fix us. That's what we do and have been taught to do. We have an ailment, we go to the doctor, he fixes us. Applying a band aid to a cut is a short term fix. However, let me ask you this? Is it actually the band aid that heals the cut or is it our bodies innate ability to activate the necessary internal processes that allow the blood and nutrients of the body to heal the cut and allow the skin to regrow, that actually heals the cut? The band aid may prevent bacteria from getting into the cut and making it worse, but it does not actually do the healing. The healing is an internal process.
In the same way, anti-depressants, in my mind, are only ever a short term fix. For some people they are a short term fix that become a life-long addiction. And all this stems from the one simple fact that at some level we believe we need to be fixed or to fix ourselves in order to feel differently. In order for long-term and sustained change to take place, the healing has to come from within.

If you do nothing else, then please understand one thing in this moment. Who you are, where you are and what you are is PERFECT. You are whole in a perfectly imperfect way. If we can let go of the idea that what we are is wrong and needs fixing, and accept that we are perfect, and accept who we are - that is the key - then we can get out of our own way. When we stop resisting change, change will occur naturally. When we believe that we need fixing, we are stating that we are not perfect in some way and are resistant to any change. You only have to look at the world at the moment to recognise that change is inevitable. It will happen regardless of how we think or feel. So get out of your own way - stop resisting by believing that you need fixing - and allow yourself to change. 

The other really important thing to recognise here is that no feeling, no emotion is either good or bad, positive or negative. Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not believe that we are striving to be in a constant state of happiness or of joy, but what we are striving for is an ability to change how we are feeling in any given moment. To change our state when we choose. To feel sadness, fear, anger are all healthy emotions when we allow those emotions to flow. These emotions become unhealthy when we wallow or get stuck in them. We get stuck in them when we tell ourselves that we need fixing because something must be wrong with us. But if we did not feel sad or angry or fearful, how would we know when we felt joy or happiness or delight. Every emotion is healthy if we allow those emotions to flow.  

So, what do you need to do in order to allow your emotions to flow?! Accept yourself as the truly perfect human being that you are, let go of the need to fix or be fixed and trust that change can occur and that it will occur. 

Again, as I have stated before - I am not saying that this is a quick fix, pardon the pun. However, recognising where you are and how you can change it, will allow you to change your state in any given moment. 

So, practice letting go of the idea of needing to fix something or to be fixed. Let yourself be in the flow of the emotion. As soon as it feels stuck or as though you are wallowing, recognise it and change it. Think about how you would desire to feel instead. Go into your heart centre and draw to you the emotions that you would truly like to feel and change your state, in that very moment. Practice this as often as you need to and I promise you that change will happen. It's inevitable.

With love to the perfect being that you are,

Nikola xxx
 

Its time to make a choice.....

That gut wrenching feeling of being kicked over and over again in the stomach... despair, disillusionment, loss of will, the overwhelming childlike behaviour of crawling on your hands and knees, sobbing to the point of sheer exhaustion... shaking to the point of numbness, loss of feeling, loss of awareness... lack of caring. Anger, frustration... pleading, helpless. Alone. Frightened. 
In these moments, it feels all but impossible to lift yourself out of the all encompassing shadow that has passed your door, yet again. 


But it is possible. Anything is possible - it is just belief that stops us. And if it is possible then it can only be true that we have a choice in the moment... we have a choice to let all of the above feelings take over or to choose to step aside and watch as if observing from a different place. When we react so vehemently and we get caught up in the moment of panic and fear, we can make a decision to change the ultimate outcome. Again, I am not saying it is easy but with practice, it will get easier and easier.


The first step is to recognise and tell yourself that you have a choice. To choose to be overwhelmed or to choose to step aside and watch as if an onlooker. When we step aside and watch the episode unfold as if we are not attached to the feelings, our body does not react in the same way. Emotions create our behaviours. It is what we feel that we act upon. 


When you start to unleash the emotions that you know will take you on that slippery slope. STOP. BREATHE and make the choice to simply observe. Just notice.  Make no judgements, just notice. What happens?! If we are not acting upon the feelings by becoming the observer, then the feelings are not attached to anything and will dissipate.


If we can learn to detach from the emotions that cause us to feel depressed then we will start to stop acting upon those feelings. By default we will then cease to attract more negative energy into our space and the episodes of depression will become shorter and shorter.


I realise that this all sounds so simple. All I would ask is that you try. It is in changing the patterns of behaviour that we can start to unravel what keeps us locked into feelings of depression and negativity.


Sending you all love and support, 
With blessings,
Nikola x

Where One Man meets the World......

With this installment you might be forgiven for thinking that I am digressing from the initial intention with this blog, however, the story I wish to share with you today encompasses all that I am sharing on many different levels.

In order to see the light within ourselves, sometimes we have to look outside of ourselves and take action.... I fundamentally believe, as I have stated previously, that our own healing has to come from within. In order for our light to shine in the world we have to shine out from our hearts and our souls.  To recognise the beauty within and to radiate that out into the world.

What I am proposing today is that you allow yourself to accept the love of the world too. This will support your own innate ability to love yourself and give freely of love to others.

On March 20th, 2011 - one man invites you to share in raising the vibration of the world in a meeting of minds, hearts and intentions. To share your dreams and prayers of love and peace with the world. As you share your love with the world, so the world will share its love with you.... Today you will be able to recognise and to feel that we are all one, we are all connected.

Eddie McCann is a passionate and romantic Irishman. He has a vision. That on the 20th March 2011, when day and night are of equal length, we share in one thought and action. To send a Blue Balloon into the skies sharing our hopes and dreams for a world filled to the brim with love and peace. It is that simple. And this one simple action will light a light in you, for you will be able to feel the energy of the world resonating and giving back all that you give to it.

Join Eddie on his Facebook Page: Blue Balloon Day and share your thoughts and comments and ideas. Be a part of making this day special for every single one of us residing on this beautiful planet. On this page you will find notes on using the most environmentally friendly balloons and how to participate.  Talking to Eddie lit a spark in me, and a desire to make this a reality. Love and Peace do not cost us anything. Just a desire and an intention....

What will you do to make Blue Balloon Day a reality for you, those around you and for the World......?!

One Vision..... One Dream.... One Small Step.... A World united in Love and Peace.

With love, peace and blessings always

Nikola xx

Where Science meets Nature and Intuition.....

The information I am about to share with you is not my own - I am no Scientist. However, when I read what I am about to share with you, I intuitively knew that it had huge relevance to me and how I felt and how it would help me move forwards. Therefore, I trust that it too can help you.

I also want to say here how important intuition is when we are healing our own bodies. If we can get to a place of really listening deeply to what our bodies are telling us then we have a fighting chance of changing that which no longer serves us. I fundamentally believe that the body has the ability and capacity to be 100% healthy. Again, this will be challenging for people to read who have suffered with dis-ease throughout their lives. However, if I did not believe this, then I would not believe that we have the capacity to change anything in our lives. And yet, I believe that we have the capacity to change absolutely anything and everything we choose.

So, let me pose a question to you? How well do you know your own body? How often to do you truly listen to what it is telling you? Do you give it the love and the nurture it so deserves? It carries you and your feelings and thoughts around on a daily basis... how often do you thank it for doing so. Trust your intuition and let your body tell you what it needs, right now. 

If you are unsure, then go and spend some time outside - rain or shine. Walk barefoot on the grass. This might seem somewhat ridiculous, however, our body works in rythmn with nature. More so than perhaps most of us take the time to recognise. How often does going for a walk by the sea, or taking in the mountain air make us feel better... and if you do not have the sea or a mountain range at the bottom of your garden - find your nearest park and simply go and breathe in the air and feel the earth beneath your feet.

I digress.... so, back to the Science.

Our bodies are 70% water and in order for our bodies to operate at full capacity we need to be fully hydrated.  The majority of dis-ease in the body occurs when the body is no longer fully hydrated. We have been reading for years how important it is to take on at least 8 glasses of water a day but how many of us really understand why or make the connection between how we feel on a deep level with how hydrated we are. 

Let's take this one step further and see how this potentially relates to depression. There are four main electrolytes in the body; sodium, potassium, calcium and magnesium. These electrolytes charge the body by charging the water within our bodies and dependent upon the actual charge they are carrying, they move water in and around the body. Sodium and Calcium always partner together and their natural position is outside the cell. However, during the daytime, when the sun is dominant over the moon, we are in active mode and it is light, a significant amount of that sodium and calcium pass through the cell membrane and into the cell. The sodium displaces potassium and the calcium displaces the magnesium. During the hours of darkness, this whole process is reversed. If this process completes then you have the perfect exchange of electrolytes. These electrolytes also hold negative and positive charge and take light into and out of the cells. In a fully hydrated person, light enters the cells during daylight and leaves the cells at nightime... in perfect harmony with nature.

This process, however, becomes disrupted in a person who is not fully hydrated. In the case of depression, it is likely that the correct exchange of electrolytes and their positive and negative charge are not fully functioning at their optimum level. If light is not being absorbed back into the cells then we remain in a 'literal' state of darkness. 

We all know how much better we feel when the days are longer and we have more light, or how much better we feel when we are outside in the sun absorbing light and energy. However, this is a temporary fix for those who suffer with depression. What we absolutely need to do is to address what is happening at the absolute core of our being.... 

As always, with love and light

Nikola xx