Let go of the story - a lesson learned.

In my last blog I wrote the following:

"I have tried to find balance for others as well as myself, at times to the detriment of my own health and peace. 

I have been a warrior in life, fighting hard for what I believe in and I have retreated into a shell not allowing the world to touch me in any way. Much of my life has been filled with drama and confusion and pain but this is illusory..... it is just a story. I am not that story"

Interestingly in the last couple of weeks, I have allowed myself to subconsciously get caught up in my own story again. The story that it is better to be shy and reserved than confident and powerful. The story that it is better to serve than to lead.  The story that happiness can be found in giving all to others and not taking care to look out for the person who matters the most. Namely "Me" or if you are reading this, "You."

You see, what happens when you set store by doing everything for everyone else whilst playing out certain stories in your life, such as those above... people, arguably quite rightly, question your authenticity. 

If I am not the shy, reserved person of my story and I come across as powerful but dont stand true in that power, people get mixed messages about who I really am?! The trouble with human nature is that we are then very quick to judge and make assumptions.

My question to you then is, what stories are you playing out in your life because you feel it makes people more comfortable around you?

What stories are you playing out in your life because it feels safe, even though at the same time it might feel uncomfortable?

What parts of you are trying to be authentic but you're still dancing to other people's tunes and not your own?!

If, like me, you put other people's thoughts and feelings before your own. STOP AND THINK. Who is that serving? Is it serving you if people are getting the wrong impression? Is it serving them if they don't believe your actions are genuine?

The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to them is to put yourself first. Trust your instincts and do what you need to do for you. Stand in your Power and your Truth. Be the amazing, authentic human being that you know you can be. In doing so, you show up in your truth and power and they see you for who you truly are and not the story that you think will make them feel comfortable.

That way, everyone wins and noone loses......

Love and blessings, 

Nikola xx

Finding Grace.... My Story

Finding Grace has had a profound impact on how I now choose to tell and to share my story. Finding Grace, in its very essence, has held a mirror up and asked me to look within and to find the Grace within myself. 

My life is about balance. This has manifested in many different ways throughout my life and I have tipped the scales of emotion in my life to the very extremes of sheer desperation and to the highs of ecstasy. I have tried to find balance for others as well as myself, at times to the detriment of my own health and peace. 

I have been a warrior in life, fighting hard for what I believe in and I have retreated into a shell not allowing the world to touch me in any way. Much of my life has been filled with drama and confusion and pain but this is illusory..... it is just a story. I am not that story.

Finding Grace, for me, is about recognising the truth of who we are in a world that is perfectly balanced. And if what we are is a reflection of this world, then we have it within our power to be truly balanced.

We are all connected in a world of duality. Light and Dark. Ying and Yang. Fire and Water. Earth and Sky. Finding Grace, finding balance is about allowing my life to flow, to truly connect to the energies of this amazing planet we live on. If I can do this for just one minute of every day, then my heart will continue to open and to be nourished and natural balance will find me. I will no longer find myself being buffeted around by the life that I have created but will find myself making choices from a place of heart-centred openness.

Finding Grace is about relinquishing control and flowing. 

I may not know what the butterfly will look like or even when she will emerge but what I do know is that when she does she will be beautiful and full of Grace.

My heartfelt thanks to Lynda and The Finding Grace Project.

Love and Blessings,

Nikola xxx

Finding Grace....

Finding Grace is a beautiful project - the inspiration of a Very Beautiful Soul who also happens to be a good friend of mine.

Lynda Kelly has a dream.

Lynda is a very talented photographer, who is taking her passion for photography, and with it, choosing to change the lives of others. This year Lynda hopes to take 1,000 portrait photographs of women, who are prepared to share their story and the money raised will go straight to The Rainbow Trust. A charity who provide emotional and practical support to families whose children have life threatening or terminal illnesses.

Lynda is also an extremely intuitive coach and in the telling of your story through the medium of photographs, you will discover even more about your self and your story and you will have a beautiful portrait photograph of yourself to treasure.

Take a look at the attached link and if you would like to be a part of this amazing project then please contact me.... www.findinggraceportraits.co.uk

I am in the process of writing my own story of Finding Grace in my life as I had my photographs taken just a couple of days ago... I will share both the photographs and my story in my next blog post.

The project is magical so why not get involved, making one very special lady's dream come true and helping to support and enrich the lives of the children and families of The Rainbow Trust.

With love and blessings,

Nikola x

Serotonin - your natural happiness drug!

Time and time again you will hear me say that I believe that our bodies, hearts and minds have an innate ability to work healthily and effectively for us. Unfortunately, we constantly put pressure on all aspects of ourselves, or allow external pressures to affect us and our natural rythmn's and balance become out of synch. The consequences; feelings of stress, anxiety, depression - to name but a few afflictions.

Serotnonin is our bodies own natural chemical process that affects how we feel. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter, involved in the transmission of nerve impulses. It is this process that triggers feelings of happiness and is, therefore, believed to help regulate our moods, aiding sleep, calming anxiety and relieving depression. Your body makes serotonin out of the amino acid tryptophan and low levels are recognised widely as being associated with depression, anxiety, apathy, fear, feelings of worthlessness, insomnia and fatigue. Most prescription medication targets serotonin. 

We, therefore, need to recognise and understand for ourselves what it is that we need to do to change the levels of serotonin in our bodies to promote a natural and healthy response to depleting levels. 

Our diet, thoughts, emotions, behaviour and our connection to nature all affect our bodies natural chemistry. Relaxation, exercise, breathing and good nutrition all have a positive impact on our bodies' chemical processes. It is also no coincidence that time spent in nature has an effect on our serotonin levels. Energy from the sun and the earth helps  regulate our own natural balance. It is not just a mental process that makes us think we feel better, our chemical balance actually changes when we are in a more natural space.

It is possible to use all of the above techniques to manage your body's serotonin levels. Start to pay attention to the little things that make you feel good and systematically start to include them in your daily routine, to encourage your body to manage and to balance your serotonin levels. If you find yourself saying that you do not have the time or even the inclination - then ask yourself the question, which is more important. Your health and happiness or continuing to feel anxious, stressed or even depressed?!

What can you do that will help you to raise your body's serotonin levels?! Take time to express gratitude in the morning for all that you have. This immediately puts you into a constructive and positive frame of mind in the morning. Take a warm shower in the morning and visualise washing away any thoughts that don't serve you, any feelings of stress or anxiety. This in itself is enough to raise your serotonin at the beginning of the day. Take time to listen to your favourite music. Music that engages, relaxes and makes you feel happy. Eat nutritious food. We all know the feelings of guilt or indeed the actual physical reactions that our bodies have to food that does not make us feel good. So, don't go there in the first place. (Don't give yourself a hard time if you do) but simply make the choice to eat food that makes you smile and you choose to take the time to savour and to enjoy. Choose to spend time with loved ones and make it quality time. Take regular exercise and make sure that you recognise how the exercise makes you feel better and healthier. It is not about making yourself look better on a superficial level... it is about making yourself feel better from the inside out.

Start by making small changes on a daily basis and the effects will be felt on a much bigger scale... this I promise you.....

Let me know, as always, how you get on and share your experiences with me.

With love and blessings,

Nikola xx

Personal Coaching by Email

I am very excited that today sees the launch of my new:

"Personal Coaching by Email"

Whilst I feel very strongly that it is always important to continue to do the things you love and to always give time to yourself and to your needs and desires, it is not always as easy to put this into practice; especially when all the messages in the Media are telling us how expensive life is.... When we hear messages like that, many of us choose to forgo what are seen as lifestyle "nice to have's"  such as massage, coaching, yoga, meditation classes etc. Therefore, I wanted to offer you the opportunity to continue to give to yourself and your own development in a much more affordable way. Not only that, but I also wanted to incorporate my own strengths and passion into the work that I do.

Therefore, I have chosen to create an email Coaching facility to my business. As many of you will have heard me say before, my passion is words and I recognise my ability to coach through the medium of words. I am able to intuit far more from what people write than what they say. 

Coaching by Email - How will it work?

You will be able to email me at any time of day or night with your questions or coaching issues and I promise to get back to you within 12 hours... The difference being that you no longer have to wait until your next appointment to ask that all important question. You will be able to start implementing the changes that we write about as soon as you have read my response.

There are a number of incredibly inspirational sites on the internet now offering advice and support and blog sites that cover any number of subjects. What I am offering, is the chance for you to get a response and to make that advice and support personal to you.

I love reading columns in magazines that provide insight and inspiration, however, sometimes I feel the need for it to be more personal for me to truly implement it in my own life.

Coaching by Email - How much will it cost?

1 month = £10

3 months = £27

6 months = £54

There is no limit to the emails and questions that you can raise in that time. All I would ask is that your intent in using this service and posing your coaching issues is that they are real and of significance and importance to you.

Please do not hesitate to contact me at beinyourpower@live.com if you have any questions on how this might work for you.

I look forward to working with you over the coming weeks.....
Love and blessings, always
Nikola x

Gratitude...

A short and simple blog post with a simple message that can have the most profound effect on your life....
If you choose to do one thing to affect your world... then be grateful.

It is in being thankful for all that we are and all that we have that we can let go of all the feelings of what we don't want in our lives or what we don't enjoy or what we would ideally like to change. That is not to say that we can't change things or even desire to do so but it is in being grateful that we recognise that which we already have, that which already exists of great beauty in the world.

Take one week and every morning for a week, spend five minutes before you do anything else, being grateful... Notice how it makes you feel and how the rest of your day pans out when you start the day saying thank you.

Love and blessings and gratitude always...

Nikola xx

Community Medicine......

It's interesting - I make a point of choosing not to watch the news. Not because I have no interest in what is going on in the world around me, quite the contrary - I have so much interest in the world around me and the people who inhabit this world - however, I choose not to get caught up in the negative energy that comes at us from every medium.

However, I did turn on the television today in the middle of a piece of news, that did catch my attention. And when it does that, it obviously has a message or is important for me to notice. It was again about the percentage increase of people who are being diagnosed as suffering with depression. This they site as largely due to financial worries and stress caused by being out of work for long periods of time.

The answer for many is to go their GP and ask for prescription medicine to help them through these challening times.

I do not question that life is tough for many of us but it did make me challenge our reactions and the choices that seem to be available to us in order to support and help us. 

If I do not believe that prescription medicine is the way forwards then what do I wish that GP's were able offer us. My initial reaction was that a lot of the time what people really need is someone to talk to, someone to whom they can unload their fears and worries without being judged. I fully appreciate that this is not a role that most GP's are able to offer for they simply do not have the time or the resources. If money is the issue that is causing a person the most distress, then they are not likely to wish to pay to see a Psychiatrist or Coach. Which led me to ask the question that if depression and stress are on the rise then what did we do before GP's and prescription medicine.

And my answer as it often does leads me back to community. We used to live in communities where we knew there was always someone we could turn to in our hour of need. People naturally lived together and thought nothing of loving, supporting, nourishing and caring for each other. It was never questioned, it was simply a way of life. There would always be someone that you could go and talk to to seek advice or simply to offload your fears and concerns to. There was always someone ready to feed you or to hug you or to watch out for you. 

In our bid for independence and subsequent stoic behaviour, we have become so isolated that in times of trouble and need, we feel only desperation, isolation and separateness. So we seek out professionals rather than friends and families. We have come to believe that only people who are in a position of authority or greater knowledge can tell us what to do or to help us. Whatever happened to listening to our own intuition and of seeking solace in family, friends and our community.

These sorts of communities do exist in our world and I admire so much the love and support that they share with each other on a daily basis, no matter what. 

My question to you with this blog is to challenge the need to do things alone. Do you need to be afraid alone? Do you need to suffer alone? Do you need to worry alone?

How can you bring yourself closer to being in a community..... who do you know that would love and support you, no matter what. What would it take for you to express your need to talk, to share. There is a great gift in asking for help. Someone will always want to listen and to help, that is part of the gift of human nature.  We just have to find those people.

So, go out and find your community - you might just find them in the most surprising of places.

With love and blessings, always

Nikola x