One of the most common misperceptions that has been created by our society and culture and that we constantly remind ourselves of, is that as individuals we need fixing.
In simplified terms when we are offered anti-depressants in order to relieve us of the symptoms of depression, we are led to believe that these drugs can or will in some way fix us. That's what we do and have been taught to do. We have an ailment, we go to the doctor, he fixes us. Applying a band aid to a cut is a short term fix. However, let me ask you this? Is it actually the band aid that heals the cut or is it our bodies innate ability to activate the necessary internal processes that allow the blood and nutrients of the body to heal the cut and allow the skin to regrow, that actually heals the cut? The band aid may prevent bacteria from getting into the cut and making it worse, but it does not actually do the healing. The healing is an internal process.
In the same way, anti-depressants, in my mind, are only ever a short term fix. For some people they are a short term fix that become a life-long addiction. And all this stems from the one simple fact that at some level we believe we need to be fixed or to fix ourselves in order to feel differently. In order for long-term and sustained change to take place, the healing has to come from within.
If you do nothing else, then please understand one thing in this moment. Who you are, where you are and what you are is PERFECT. You are whole in a perfectly imperfect way. If we can let go of the idea that what we are is wrong and needs fixing, and accept that we are perfect, and accept who we are - that is the key - then we can get out of our own way. When we stop resisting change, change will occur naturally. When we believe that we need fixing, we are stating that we are not perfect in some way and are resistant to any change. You only have to look at the world at the moment to recognise that change is inevitable. It will happen regardless of how we think or feel. So get out of your own way - stop resisting by believing that you need fixing - and allow yourself to change.
The other really important thing to recognise here is that no feeling, no emotion is either good or bad, positive or negative. Correct me if I am wrong, but I do not believe that we are striving to be in a constant state of happiness or of joy, but what we are striving for is an ability to change how we are feeling in any given moment. To change our state when we choose. To feel sadness, fear, anger are all healthy emotions when we allow those emotions to flow. These emotions become unhealthy when we wallow or get stuck in them. We get stuck in them when we tell ourselves that we need fixing because something must be wrong with us. But if we did not feel sad or angry or fearful, how would we know when we felt joy or happiness or delight. Every emotion is healthy if we allow those emotions to flow.
So, what do you need to do in order to allow your emotions to flow?! Accept yourself as the truly perfect human being that you are, let go of the need to fix or be fixed and trust that change can occur and that it will occur.
Again, as I have stated before - I am not saying that this is a quick fix, pardon the pun. However, recognising where you are and how you can change it, will allow you to change your state in any given moment.
So, practice letting go of the idea of needing to fix something or to be fixed. Let yourself be in the flow of the emotion. As soon as it feels stuck or as though you are wallowing, recognise it and change it. Think about how you would desire to feel instead. Go into your heart centre and draw to you the emotions that you would truly like to feel and change your state, in that very moment. Practice this as often as you need to and I promise you that change will happen. It's inevitable.
With love to the perfect being that you are,
Nikola xxx
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