That gut wrenching feeling of being kicked over and over again in the stomach... despair, disillusionment, loss of will, the overwhelming childlike behaviour of crawling on your hands and knees, sobbing to the point of sheer exhaustion... shaking to the point of numbness, loss of feeling, loss of awareness... lack of caring. Anger, frustration... pleading, helpless. Alone. Frightened.
In these moments, it feels all but impossible to lift yourself out of the all encompassing shadow that has passed your door, yet again.
But it is possible. Anything is possible - it is just belief that stops us. And if it is possible then it can only be true that we have a choice in the moment... we have a choice to let all of the above feelings take over or to choose to step aside and watch as if observing from a different place. When we react so vehemently and we get caught up in the moment of panic and fear, we can make a decision to change the ultimate outcome. Again, I am not saying it is easy but with practice, it will get easier and easier.
The first step is to recognise and tell yourself that you have a choice. To choose to be overwhelmed or to choose to step aside and watch as if an onlooker. When we step aside and watch the episode unfold as if we are not attached to the feelings, our body does not react in the same way. Emotions create our behaviours. It is what we feel that we act upon.
When you start to unleash the emotions that you know will take you on that slippery slope. STOP. BREATHE and make the choice to simply observe. Just notice. Make no judgements, just notice. What happens?! If we are not acting upon the feelings by becoming the observer, then the feelings are not attached to anything and will dissipate.
If we can learn to detach from the emotions that cause us to feel depressed then we will start to stop acting upon those feelings. By default we will then cease to attract more negative energy into our space and the episodes of depression will become shorter and shorter.
I realise that this all sounds so simple. All I would ask is that you try. It is in changing the patterns of behaviour that we can start to unravel what keeps us locked into feelings of depression and negativity.
Sending you all love and support,
With blessings,
Nikola x
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